Names
by Lil' Bode
Summary: Crabbe and Goyle are not the sharpest knifes in the drawer so they decide to ask Malfoy why people have name. (Good for a few laughs!) ENJOY!


short ficlet that i wrote when i as seriously, severely, dangerously, brutally, cruelly,  . . . ::continues for 5 minutes::  . . . hazardously bored.  i was just thinking about something funny i could write and this came to me.   ENJOY!

**..:: Title: Names**

**..:: Author:** (maybe I shouldn't put this, I'm not so sure I want people to know I wrote this, o well what the hay) **Lil****' Bode**

**..::Summary: **Crabbe and Goyle are not the sharpest knifes in the drawer so they decide to ask Malfoy why people have name.  (Good for a few laughs!!)  (",)  ENJOY!!!

**..::Disclaimer:** I DON'T OWN THE HARRY POTTER FRANCHISE, THAT IS PROPERTY OF J.K. ROWLING, AND, OR WARNER BROTHERS****

:-:-:

"Hey, Crabbe, Goyle," Malfoy said as he walked into the common room, and saw them.

"Hey, Malfoy," they grunted together.

"You know you should quit saying stuff in unison, it's corny," he took the seat across from the, sprawling his legs out.

"Um, Malfoy . . ." Crabbe began, stilling hanging on the word _unison_, he had no idea what it ment.

"Yes, Crabbe?" he said sounding a little irritated.

"Me and him," he said pointing to Goyle, "were wondering why people have names."

Malfoy looked at them disgusted, wondering why these two had ever made it as far as they did.  "Well it is simple. . ."

"Oh I like simple stuff," Crabbe said sighing.

"Yeah, it is easy on my brain," Goyle commented, Crabbe nodded.

"You two have brains?" Malfoy asked them, and then shook his head, "Sorry, that is off the subject now back to names. . ."

"Yes the mysterious thing from far beyond," Goyle said putting his hands out in front of him as if spelling out the words, something of which was far beyond his comprehension.

Malfoy starred at them for the longest time, blankly, wondering yet again, how they could survive.

"Um, Malfoy," Crabbe said, "You there?" he waved his hands.

"Yeah, sorry," he shook his head trying to rid him self of his thoughts, and more or less Crabbe and Goyle, "Yeah just thinking."

"Yeah, thinking," Crabbe said looking slightly blank, he knew he had heard that word before but he wasn't all that sure what I meant, then it came to him.

"Anyway back to names.  Well you see people have them because . . ." Malfoy began.

"Can't animals have them, too?"

"Yes, Crabbe, they can.  Now back to what I was saying; people _AND_ animals have them because it is a way of identifying things.  With out names everyone one would be hey you, or what's his face."

"Well what about Crabbe is Grape and I am Pear, those aren't names," Goyle said asking curiously.

Malfoy sat there in a daze, "Those may not be proper names but they are names, you are identifying one of you as a certain thing and one as another thing."

"Okay them what about him being broom, and me being floor," Crabbe suggested.

"It is still the same thing; you are identifying one person as a certain thing, and the other person as another certain thing.

Crabbe and Goyle continued to list name such as those to Malfoy for the next fifteen minutes, he never heard what they said after the first 5 sets of name he just gave them the same simple reply. 

It had been silent for awhile, it seemed they had run out of names, but then Crabbe looked like he got an ingenious idea, "What about him being hey you, and me what's his name?"

"Closer," Malfoy said, "BUT YOU ARE STILL IDENTIFYING EACH OF YOU AS A CERTAIN THING," he yelled.

"I don't get this," Goyle said scratching his head.

"Yeah me either," Crabbe said looking desperately at Malfoy.

"Okay," he said try to think of something they could understand, "There is this pixie . . ."

"Oh, what's her name?" Goyle asked anxiously.

Mafloy took a second to think, "It's. . . a guy, and his name is . . . Saxton, and his comes around when babies are born, and if they don't have a name he kills them."

"Oh, that's got to suck," Crabbe said.

"Yeah it sure does," Malfoy said quickly, "And that is why we have names."  He began to walk away.

"OH, you should have told us that right away before you got me all confused," Crabbe said.

"Um. . .Malfoy," Goyle yelled after him, "How are babies made?"

Malfoy walked out without another word.

:-:-:

whoa I like that.   just a little random thing i though of while sitting at the computer for many hours, it is kind corny, but it's all gravy baby.  if you are offended by it i'm sorry, it just a little thing on how many people see Crabbe and Goyle, and a development from my boredom.  flame if you want to i don't really care, i hope everyone liked it but i'm sure that is an impossible task so review and tell me what you think.  if it is a big success and I have more ideas i might write more chapters, we'll see.

lottsa lurv

LB


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